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Peter Griffin: Hey, Mort, do these suppositories come in any other flavors?
Mort Goldman: Peter! You’re not eating those, are you?
Peter Griffin: [sarcastically] No, I’m shoving them up my butt. Of course I’m eating them.


We were sitting down to read before bed tonight and Zoey picked out a little pat-a-cake book. First, she sat on the edge of her bed and “read” it to herself, even finishing with “theeee end!” Then she brought it to me. On the front of the book is a little cake covered with frosting with a big B on top. She pointed to it and said “Capital B.” Danny and I were still recovering from this when she continued, “Buh buh buh buh, ‘s what the B says.”

Oh Lord, it’s hard to be humble…