I want to apologize for anything I have said or done recently that has caused discomfort or offense.

You might (or might not) say not to worry about it, or that it hasn’t happened. One of the fortunate things about loved ones is that they forgive so easily, especially at a time like now, when it is evident that I am not exactly normal. But all the same, I need to say this, so just read and don’t feel compelled to argue with me. If this doesn’t apply to you, I am glad, and we can leave it at that.

The most profound human emotions — three of these being love, anger and grief — are the most deeply felt. And right now, I seem to vascillate between them being dulled to the point that I feel abnormal or amplified to the point that I feel control of them slipping away. So sometimes, I might get carried away by one or more of them. It doesn’t mean I’m not TRYING to control it. It just means that, at the moment, I lack the strength to reel it in. One could also argue that emotions like this are the hardest to reel in anyway, and to not be at the top of one’s game leaves one even less able to pull in the reins on them.

So if I say things in person, in e-mail or in any other way that cause discomfort, I apologize — both in arrears and in advance.

That being said, let me reiterate that I started this blog specifically to be a dumping ground. If something is rattling around inside me and taking over, dominating my thoughts and driving me crazy, if I know I shouldn’t say it out loud or otherwise dispose of it, I might just let it fly right here. If you read something here that rubs you wrong, I truly am sorry, but I have to have someplace where I can let things go. I don’t come equipped with a purge valve — I can’t push a button on the back of my head that just eradicates any ugly things or uncomfortable things so that no one has to see it.

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