I don’t think it is. But how about detachment? …Maybe they are both a sub-stage of Anger.

As I’ve said before, when I think of Mikey these days, it’s kind of cold, detached, and a little hostile. As if what I really want to say to him is, “Fine. Go on, then. Clearly we were not as close as I used to think.” In the beginning — the first month and a half or so after his sudden death — I really felt his presence often. And I don’t think I was imagining it or that I was nutty. But it hasn’t happened in a long time and it irritates me, almost like losing him twice.

On the one hand, it’s not a particularly pleasant way to think of him. On the other hand, I suspect this is a normal part of the process, and part of me is relieved that I’ve moved out of that surreal peaceful feeling and on to something that seems a bit more textbook. Still, I hope it doesn’t last too long.

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