I came home from work today feeling pretty lousy. I’ve been fighting a general daycare-issue cold for the last couple days and I wanted to take my temperature, since I seemed to be hot one minute and cold the next. Danny was at an afternoon picnic at Zoey’s school, so I had no one to ask where the thermometer was. I located one, labeled “Safety 1st,” so clearly it’s meant for kids — and it crossed my mind that this might be a rectal thermometer. But dammit, I wanted to take my temperature, so I washed it and used it. But I still wonder. ‘Cause that would be kind of gross.

And pointless, since my temperature was exactly 98.6.

Never did locate the other thermometer that I was originally looking for. They ought to put tracking devices on those things, because you can never find them when you need them. Unless your house is really organized. In that case, just — don’t talk to me.

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