The past couple days, I’ve missed my brother so much I feel like I could reach into my own chest, pull the longing out of my heart and actually hold it in my bare hands. It’s that tangible. It keeps coming out of the blue and knocking me down. Sucker-punches.

It probably doesn’t help that this past week has been difficult at home and at work. Zoey was sick, then Danny got sick, and I was pretty much in charge of everyone and everything for three or four days. I held everything together, but I was not Anna Sunshine… I’m not proud of it, but there it is. Then today, I had to go into work on third shift, and although it was for a great cause, it knocked my already-tired body even further out of whack.

So now my defenses are down and all my weaknesses are going completely berserk, all the things I fight all the time… all the bad ideas and negative talk. It’s like every Achilles heel I have has taken a major hit this week. I’m tired, and I’m lonely, and at this point with so much happening in my head, I’m getting confused — rattled. It’s like I just stumbled off of an out-of-control merry-go-round and I’ve gotta stagger around for awhile, wishing everything would just be still while I get oriented.